Today I shed the frail, common exterior I usually haul around during the doldrums of everyday life, and became my alter-ego.
Today… I was a floss fairy.
So I thought I would let those interested have just a little peek into a day in the life of a floss fairy. Complete with pictures!
My day starts with waking at about 11am or so. Because fairies need their sleep, you see. After performing all the proper morning rituals, I finally get around to printing out my mission dossier. This has all the targets I need to acquire for a successful floss fairy mission, and, as you can see, there are usually quite a few. But I am a professional. No list will phase this fairy, no matter how long. And, of course, coupons always help. Â¡Viva la frugality!
After perusing the mission objectives, it’s time to head to the Floss-mobile. Which is currently the fine vehicle you see pictured here. Transportation is key for a floss fairy, especially when the craft stores are several miles away. But you know what they say… neither snow nor rain stays this fairy from the swift completion of my appointed stashing.
And it did rain.
But thankfully my trusty companion Gir kept the gloom away.
And then he baked a cake.
At any rate, eventually I found my way to my first stake-out location… Joann’s Fabrics. At the risk of life and limb, I now bring you a picture that my scare some of you…
Floss in it’s natural habitat.
It takes about an hour or so to get all the floss collected and tucked away in a shopping basket, checked out, and paid for. Now, for the most part, floss fairies have no natural enemies and can live in harmony with most other craft-minded people. There are, however, one subset of individuals that look on floss-fairies with true fear and dread.
When you walk up to a check out aisle with a basket of over 200 individual skeins of floss, you can see that look of doom in the cashier’s eyes. A cold sweat breaks out over their brow, and they frantically begin worrying about things such as if there’s enough tape in the machine for the huge receipt that it will have to print out, or if they accidently drop a skein of floss into the waiting bag without scanning it, robbing the store of another precious 20 cents. And, of course, calling down the wrath of the inventory manager.
The outgoing signs of all this worry is, of course, inane chatter.
Although, granted, there’s not much else to do when scanning in 200 items for over 10 minutes.
One of these days I will just completely break a cashier and they will run, screaming in terror from my waiting basket of floss. Mwhahahah!
*ahem*… Anyway, my purchase completed, I generally find that visiting just one craft store is generally not enough when it comes to floss. The first place you go to is always missing some of the skeins you need… which means that you have to head to the next stake-out location…
Michael’s. Thankfully here I was able to fill in most of the gaps in my mission objectives list, save for a few pesky skeins I just couldn’t hunt down. These will be marked as missing when the bundles finally ship, with a heartfelt apology and feeling of sorrow in not being able to be quite as thorough as a floss fairy longs to be.
At the end of the day, though… I can still take pride in a job well done and several large bags of floss… as well as a receipt a mile long to go with it. This is my calling. My purpose.
I am a floss fairy.
I can only aspire to one day earn my wand and my wings.
Tomorrow… the bundling process!