VNV Nation

I’ve recently gotten back from the VNV Nation show in Seattle.

To sum up my feelings of the show, and to quote VNV themselves, all I really have to say is:


The show was awesome. VNV has always had a killer sound, and it came off beautifully tonight. And the energy in the crowd was incredible. I think it helped that it was the last show for their North American tour, so they wanted to go out with a bang. Four encore songs and a whole lot of audience screaming saw to that. They played a good mix of tracks off the new album, including Farthest Star, Nemesis, Testament, and Illusion… with Illusion probably being the most low key, mellow piece they played all night. Old tracks were also mixed in, including Saviour, Honour, and Darkangel, among others that I couldn’t place.

The only thing that really sucked was the venue. The place was literally packed wall to wall. You could not move in any direction without running into a wall of bobbing, dancing people. I’m a bit of a wallflower so I stayed in the back, but it was great watching all the people in front of me and feeding off their energy. The place also, however, has no air conditioning. Minutes into the show the place was a sauna, and everyone I saw walking out at the end of the show was sopping wet with sweat.

Fucking awesome show, not so great on the location.

And they took my camera! I was hoping to post some shots of the show, but I had to check it before going in, which was upsetting. I’m actually glad I checked it, though. I noticed people that had snuck cameras in where quickly getting nabbed by security, which were all over the place. Ah well.

I was mildly disappointed as well to find out And One would not be the opening band. A band named Babyland was filling in from them instead. They weren’t too bad, though. Heavy percussion and mildly screamed lyrics. The percussionist was actually pretty kick ass though. He had a bizarre setup of steel drums, piping, and other odds and ands that he played with reckless abandon. Not as good as And One, but still not too shabby.

So I’m in a hotel tonight and will be making further forays into Seattle tomorrow. At the bare minimum are plans to hit up the museum and the Japanese garden. A Chinatown trip happened today as we found some dinner before I headed off to the concert. I had the best Chinese I’ve had in a long time. We missed dim sum unfortunately, though… something Shawn and Danie have yet to experience. Maybe next time.

I hope to take loads of pictures tomorrow at least. Hopefully I can make up for my lack of pictures from the concert tonight.

Until then…

A Strange Experience In Music

In recognition of the recent music memeage, here’s a couple more. I actually did these a while ago when I found them in my random surfing of the Internet. Originally I was going to add little comments, but looking at it at the moment, I think most of the answers speak for themselves.

Here we go.

Put your music player on shuffle.
Press forward for each question.
Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense.

  1. How am I feeling today? – “Sex Type Thing” Stone Temple Pilots
  2. Will I get far in life? – “Ride the Cliche” Stone Temple Pilots
  3. How do my friends see me? – “Waiting for the Night” Depeche Mode
  4. Where will I get married? – “Catch” The Cure
  5. What is my best friend? – “Pictures of You” The Cure
  6. What is the story of my life? – “I Began to Hope” Wave In Head
  7. What was high school like? – “Flowers” Leiahdorus
  8. How can I get ahead in life? – “Megalomaniac” KMFDM
  9. What is the best thing about me? – “SleepDreamSleep” B!Machine
  10. What is today going to be like? – “You Spin Me ‘Round” Dead or Alive
  11. What is in store for this weekend? – “In The Springtime of his Voodoo” Tori Amos
  12. What song describes my parents? – “Any Kind of Love” Rupesh Cartel
  13. To describe my grandparents? – “Mello” Alien#Six13
  14. How is my life going? – “Casino” Blue October
  15. What song will they play at my funeral? – “I Want Her” Brave New World
  16. How does the world see me? – “Project David” We’ll Go On
  17. Will I have a happy life? – “Big Empty” Stone Temple Pilots
  18. What do my friends really think of me? – “My Friends” Red Hot Chili Peppers
  19. Do people secretly lust after me? – “Enjoy the Silence” Depeche Mode
  20. How can I make myself happy? – “The Carnival Is Over” Dead Can Dance
  21. What should I do with my life? – “Stare At The Sun” MDFMK
  22. Will I ever have children? – “On the Run” Pink Floyd
  23. What is some good advice for me? – “True Believer” Neuropa
  24. How will I be remembered? – “Great Big Lie” The Tea Party
  25. What is my signature dancing song? – “This Love” Dark Voices
  26. What is my current theme song? – “Ain’t Got Nothin'” Supreme Beings of Leisure
  27. What does everyone else think my current theme song is? – “Autumn Soon” The Church
  28. What type of women do I like? – “Eternal Insane” Nine

Most of the answers to that I just find amusing, though there are some that are a tad disturbing. I’m sure some of you will find some of bands referenced disturbing. What can I say… I like a little mainstream rock from time to time. I blame my teenage years.

The next one was a little more specific, though similar.

Pick a band and answer the following questions only with titles of their songs.

I, of course, chose The Tea Party.

  1. Are you male or female? “Taking Me Away”
  2. Describe yourself: “Luxuria”
  3. How do some people feel about you? “Interzone”
  4. How do you feel about yourself? “Mantra”
  5. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend: “Fire in the Head”
  6. Describe your current significant other: “Writing’s on the Wall”
  7. Describe where you want to be: “The Master and Margarita”
  8. Describe how you live: “Coming Home”
  9. Describe how you love: “Turn the Lamp Down Low”
  10. What would you ask for if you had just one wish? “Stargazer”
  11. Share a few words of wisdom: “Walking Wounded”
  12. Now say goodbye: “Waiting on a Sign”

And that’s enough music memeage for now, I think.

UPDATE: I just now realized that I wasn’t supposed to use random tracks for the second memeage… but I think they fit well enough anyway. Almost spookily.

Once upon a meme…

I have been tagged, eventhough I’m a bit belated in responding. I am not one to shirk from memeage, however!

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether or not they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to.

This is actually more difficult than it sounds. I love music. Ever since I bought my first walkman and had tunes pretty much with me everywhere I went. Lately, however, I’ve found it harder to appreciate music, and have had silent evenings more often. I think it has something to do with work related stress. It’s harder to find music that fits my mood more when that’s the case. And I’m the type that simply can’t listen to something unless it ties into what I’m feeling at the time. Happy music when I’m depressed? It’s more likely to make me more depressed.

There have been some songs I’ve appreciated lately, though. In no particular order, here they are.

  • The Tea Party - Transmission - PsychopompThe Tea Party –Transmission – “Psychopomp”
    One of my favorite bands and one of my favorite songs. The haunting melody and lyrics of this tune get me every time.

    I’ll give you something more
    And you’ll fade away
    One last kiss before
    You fade away

  • Depeche Mode - Playing the Angel - The Sinner In MeDepeche Mode – Playing The Angel – “The Sinner In Me”
    I love Depeche Mode’s new album. There is some excellent stuff on it, and this song is no exception. Low, pulsing baseline with lyrics I can appreciate.

    How sweet life would be
    If I could be free
    From the sinner in me.

  • Imogen Heap - Speak for Yourself - Have You Got It In You?Imogen Heap – Speak For Yourself – “Have You Got It In You?”
    The lead singer from Frou Frou does another solo piece. I find this entire album haunting in ways. Imogen’s voice has a sound that kind of pierces your hearing and invades your soul.

    Been one of those days
    Safety first, don’t push
    Don’t push me…
    What’s the hurry?

  • The Postal Service - Give Up - Clark GableThe Postal Service – Give Up – “Clark Gable”
    Postal Service is one of those bands I found while searching for new synthpop to enjoy. This song is an excellent example of synthpop that sounds boppy and catchy, but is just a little left of happy when you actually listen to it.

    I know you’re wise beyond your years
    But do you ever get the feel
    That your perfect verse is just a lie
    You tell yourself to help you get by?

  • Cosmicity - Pure - I Want YouCosmicity – Pure – “I Want You”
    I was introduced to Cosmicity (and a lot of the synthpop I love in general) by a very close friend. I love the boppy feel to this song, but the anime reference in the lyrics make me giggle every time.

    You’re like anime
    Exclamation above your head
    Perfect culmination of
    1000 dreams I’ve had

  • Rosetta Stone - The Tyranny Of Inaction, Revised Edition 1.1 - NothingRosetta Stone – The Tyranny of Inaction – “Nothing”
    I found this song from a compilation album I picked up from Hot Topic on a whim. It’s one of my favorites on it, from the slight dissonance that seeps into you at the beginning, to the low bass when the chorus hits.

    I want to undermine you
    I know that truth’s beyond you
    I want to redesign you
    I know what lies behind you

  • Wolfsheim - Casting Shadows - I Won't BelieveWolfsheim – Casting Shadows – “I Won’t Believe”
    Wolfsheim is one of those bands I fell in love with when I was just first discovering the wonders of German synthpop. It’s still one of my favorite bands, years later. This song is never far from my playlist.

    I won’t believe
    That you will be there at all.
    You know that I believe
    This is what a friend is for.

And there you have it. I’m meant to tag seven people at the end here, but I doubt seven people even read this blog. So… if you’re reading this, and haven’t done this meme yet… get to it!

Missing In Anime

“If I must be lonely, I think I’d rather be alone.”

Anyone that truly knows me knows that if I’ve been listening to Stabbing Westward, something must be very, very wrong.

And yet, that little corner of my brain says that everything is actually okay.

I’m just being myself.

But what do you do when you’re not happy with yourself anymore?

This is that circular logic that always gets me into heaps and heaps of trouble.

The really amusing thing, though, is that I was given a glimpse of insight the other day. A glimpse of insight offered up by anime. I was watching Neon Genesis Evangelion.

EVA-01Now, I’m disappointed as the next person about the ending of the series. Yes, I can understand and appreciate the artistic aspect of the final two episodes. I’ve watched enough anime to expect it in a way.

But it still doesn’t keep me from wanting a few simple things. Like a big mecha beat down with explosions and stuff. Or maybe… just maybe… an explanation or two about major plot threads that have been the focus of the 20 some odd episodes before the ending.

Presumptuous of myself, I know.

But some small thread of clarity in those last two episodes caused a little introspective on my part.

I hate myself at times, but I am neither more nor less than what I perceive myself to be. Than what I allow myself to be.

I am my own worst enemy, but I am also the only one that can set me free.

And, thankfully, I am not nearly as fucked up as someone that finds validation in driving around a giant biomechanical robot that houses the soul of his dead mother.

I have felt so lost and alone these past few days… these past few weeks. I have a hard time with journals… or with blogs like this… because honestly, I get sick of hearing myself.

Which isn’t good, really… when you have to put up yourself as much as any of us do.

So when a close friend called today… when I had the chance to reach out to someone I care about so much… it felt, in ways, like I allowed myself to feel again. It was just what I needed… and I can’t help but be reassured by a simple, beautiful friendship that I have always cherished.

You know who you are… and I’ve missed you. Just as much, I think, as you’ve missed me. We need to allow ourselves those times to vent, I think.

And… I’m happy.

Genuinely happy.

Something I haven’t felt in a while.

It’s time to put away the Stabbing Westward I think.